Wednesday, January 13, 2010

All You Need To Say

So a lot of people just don't know what to say to me, so I figured I would help everyone out. The OB/GYN Doctor that I was seeing up until the birth of Emilyn and Hailey called and talked to me last night, and he had the perfect response so I'll share it with you with a little background. I've been seeing this Doctor for the past year, with on average about one appointment a month, sometimes more. We had been dealing with fertility issues and then my pregnancy with Emilyn and Hailey, so we "knew" eachother pretty well, at least as much as a doctor and patient can know eachother. I was supposed to be medevac'd off island at 24 weeks to give birth in a place that has a NICU, and at my last happy appointment about four days before they were born everything was fine, but he realized it would be the last time he saw me and said he wouldn't even be able to be there for the birth and see the girls after all that work he put in. So I promised him pictures of the girls, not the birth (lol!). We never thought it would be so soon. Four days later I went into labor, but he still wasn't able to be there because he had just left for vacation. Thankfully God knew just what I needed and gave me another wonderful doctor that took great care of me and explained everything that was happening and everything that may happen. So at my appointment yesterday I brought a packet for my original Doctor. I had my favorite pictures of the girls and a description of their little personalities, my little kickboxer and ballerina, their birth/passing announcement, and memorial service program. I didn't see him that day, but he called me that night. This was his response...

"I'm sorry, I don't have words, it just sucks"

it made me laugh (on the inside), it was so him and it was perfect. That is all that I need. So if you don't know what to say but want to say something, that's all I need to hear, "i'm sorry, i don't have the words, and it just sucks" because yeah, it does suck and thank you for saying you're sorry to hear about them. I would rather you say that, than the first thing that pops into your mind and have it be hurtful. Believe me, I've gotten my fair share of hurtful comments even though the people don't mean them to be, they mean the best but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Anyway, I had my six week follow up appointment yesterday with the doctor that delivered Emilyn and Hailey. She cleared me for all activity, with no limitations. So scuba diving here I come! We gotta get my mom diving sometime!