Eighteen Months

What he's been up to:

* Visited Little Rock and ate at all the yummy places mom and dad used to love eating at.  Also went to the Little Rock zoo, it was hot but really fun!

* Said goodbye to daddy as he left on his first deployment since Elim was born.  It was a sad day and we really miss him a lot!

* Ninth tooth broke through on June 7, it was his fourth tooth on the bottom left up front!

* Tenth tooth broke through on June 13th, it was his second molar on the top right.  This one was pretty nasty and he had a rough time with it coming through, poor baby.

* Eleventh tooth broke through on June 20th, this one caught us by surprise!  It's his bottom right molar which means he's got a matching top and bottom tooth and soon he'll be able to eat a wider variety of things with his new chewing abilities!

* Twelfth tooth broke through on July 10th, his bottom left molar!

*Thirteenth tooth broke through, his upper right canine on July 25th.

* Got his first brain freeze eating baskin robins sherbert!  He was none too happy, poor baby.

* Flew to Philadelphia to visit mommy's old friend from Elementary school.  We went to many places like the adventure aquarium, Elmwood Park Zoo, Philadelphia zoo, Central Park zoo on a trip up to New York City too!  It was a fun little getaway to take our minds off of daddy being gone.

Inside a Teepee at Elmwood Park Zoo!

Fun at the zoo playground!

Playing piano with Mrs. Jaber

First taste of Rita's Water Ice!!

He seemed to like it, the custard at least.  Lemonade was the only flavor of water ice he liked

Giving a guy at Arby's the "what are you looking at" look that he perfected on this trip.

Trying to drink a little pool water, it was hot out!

Helping mommy pack!

 I just want a little kettle corn!

 Giving daddy kisses on Skype

Being traumatized by anti-semitic Elmo in front of the Central Park Zoo

Train ride home with Auntie Kaity!

* Went to his first fourth of July parade in downtown Edmond.  We were missing our soldier but had a great time watching all the people and animals in the parade!

His expression after throwing down a pop-its (things that snap when you throw them on the ground) 

Is this how you eat corn?

* Peed on the potty for the first time on July 25th!  After flushing the toilet he wanted up, so mommy put him up there and told him to go pee pee and he did!  Not anywhere near potty training yet, but hey, we'll let him have some fun!

* Traveled to Little Rock and stayed overnight with our old friend from Guam, the Graaks!

Saying bye bye to Grammy before the long road trip!

And we're ready to go!

Saying hi to Dave and Eva Graak

* Traveled to Columbus, Mississippi to visit a fellow angel momma, Katie!!  So good to finally meet her after years of talking to her online!  We had a blast hanging out at Wally world picking out a crib for her diamond baby, then meeting chickens at her house and the feeding the geese at the state park!

* Traveled to Pensacola Florida to visit another friend from Guam, Dawn and her son Xander!  We spent a day at the beach!

What he can do

* Eat with a fork!  He's learning how to eat with a fork.  He's not perfect and has to improvise sometimes, but he's getting there!

Fifteen Months

What he's been up to:


* Seventh tooth broke through on Easter Sunday, it was his bottom front right!

* Eighth tooth broke through on May 3, it was his first molar on the top left!

* Still chewing on anything and everything he can sink his little teeth into!

* Got tubes put in on April 13th, sadly we realized too late it was scheduled for Friday the 13th!  Thankfully, all went well and he was back to himself by the time we got home!

* Loves giving his puppy dog all kinds of love and hugs.

*Singing with daddy

* One of his favorite games is to open up the bread drawer, grab a loaf out and run off giggling his sweet little head off as he goes.

* Got his first haircut on March 25th, not one tear was shed!

* Visited the Oklahoma City zoo, and pet the goats.

* Celebrated Easter with an egg hunt over at his Great Grandma Horn's

* Hung out with Grammy and Grandpa while Mommy and Daddy went to an awards banquet.

What he can do:

* Drinks milk like a pro from a sippy cup!  Straw sippys are his favorite.

* Climbing everything that comes in his way, and other stuff just for fun!

*  Says doggy consistently when he sees Molly, or any other dog, or any other animal for that matter!  Still no Mommy, but possibly a daddy.  Though since doggy sounds like "dah-dee" it kinda sounds like daddy.

His Stats: 24 lbs 9 oz, 31.75 inches

One Year?!

What he's been up to:

* His fifth tooth broke through on January 18, this time it's the top one on the left next to the middle, still missing the middle though!

* His sixth tooth broke through on January 29, now he's got four up top and two on bottom!

*Got his first bloody lip on January 19 after falling and hitting mommy with his upper lip while attacking her.  He was ok though and stopped crying by the time we got him to the bathroom to grab a wash cloth to clean him up.  Then he gnawed on a frozen teether thing for awhile, and good as new!

* One of his favorite "toys" is the vacuum cleaner, and he managed to turn it on himself today and scare the heck out of himself in the process!

*Had yet another ear infection, I believe tubes will be coming any day now.

*Enjoying eating like a big boy with his own placemat at restaurants!

*He got baptized by Pastor Jim Perkin at our church on February 5!

*Enjoys chewing on anything and everything now!

*Played in the snow for the very first time, and ate it too!

What he can do:

* Let go of the couch and took two or three steps on his own before he noticed he wasn't holding onto anything and gently eased himself onto his knees.

* Took his first steps on purpose towards Mommy on Sunday, February 12th, just in time to be "walking" by his first birthday!  He's taking up to six steps all on his own now!

His Stats:  22 lbs 10 oz, 30 inches

Eleven Months

What he's been up to:
*  Started letting go and standing by himself for a few seconds at a time on Sunday, December 18

* Initiated a game of peek a boo all by himself and giggled his cute little head off whenever I found him when he pulled the blanket back down!

*  Discovered the joys of holding his hands over his high chair for Molly to lick them clean, and shortly thereafter tossing his toast over for her to chow down on, and then giggling every time mommy looked at him and told him no!

* Got a nasty upper respiratory infection that required breathing treatments every four hours of albuterol, oral steroids, inhaled steroids and many trips to the doctor.  Thankfully he finally got to feeling better and more himself after about two or three weeks.

One of too many breathing treatments he got.

 Getting his first chest x-ray, it was clear!  He loved chewing on the plastic.

*Third tooth broke through on December 28, this time it was on the top in the middle, right!

* Fourth tooth broke through on December 29, the right fang

* Saw his first snow on January 11, 2012

* Continuing to enjoy all kinds of table food!

* Celebrated his first Christmas, he had a blast!  Also got way too many toys!

Opening presents with Charles' side of the family

The tree on Christmas morning!

A present from Santa and his stocking

Checking things out, he of course goes for one of the few presents that is not his.

Mmmmm bows

Loving his new tunnel to crawl through!

Opening presents with daddy on Christmas morning

* Loved playing with all of his toys after Christmas!

*Got a visit from his Papa!

* Went for a walk in the park and ride on the swings!

I love his little feet!  His favorite thing to do now is pull his right sock off.

 Love him!

What he can do:

* Learned to climb on things!  Climbed up on his dragon walker to look over his baby jail gate on Wednesday, December 21

* Learned to clap on Christmas Eve!

* Signed milk when he wanted to nurse for the first time on December 30.  So fun seeing him actively communicate with me!

* Showed us he can crawl up stairs all by himself on January 11, 2012.  But don't ask him to go down them.

His Stats:
22 pounds 9 oz and 28.8 inches long

March for Babies Video 2012

Two Years

It has been a full two years since I held my daughters safely in my belly.  A full two years since I felt Emilyn dancing around on bottom, and Hailey kicking and jabbing up top.  Since I had the pure innocence knowing that sometime in March or April I would be bringing my girls home because things always go perfectly in pregnancy.  Since I cradled their tiny bodies, caressed their oh so soft cheeks, and kissed their cold little button noses.  I long with all of my being to go back to those precious moments to get in one more snuggle, one more kiss, one more picture, even if only for a second.

Those first few weeks and months after losing the girls were unimaginable.  I was hit with wave after wave of grief, only getting enough time between them to just barely catch my breath.  Then after about three months, I started getting a little more time to breathe.  A little more time to recover.  A little more time to feel more like myself.  I started smiling more, enjoying things more, and living again.

Now, two years on, there has been so much healing.  I am no longer a shell of myself, I'm me, the new me.  I can think of Emilyn and Hailey and smile.  I can look at baby girls most of the time without pain, I no longer cringe at the sight of them and pretend they aren't there.  I still ache every time I see twin babies, and hear the word twins though.  But now I can see older twins and not hurt.  I saw twin girls that are turning seven in a few days, smiled and wondered what that life must be like, without pain.  I don't cry every day for them, or even every month.  But the pain does come back, and I do cry, and I'm okay with that.  I've embraced it.  Despite the all of the healing that is happened, the wound will never be completely gone.  Time just doesn't heal certain wounds.