Born Too Soon....

Where do I start? I guess where I left off last on my last post. On Thanksgiving day I had about 3 contractions, they were 2-3 hours apart and not painful. That pattern of having one contraction every two or three hours continued on into Friday and also Saturday. Those two days I put myself on semi-bed rest just to be sure, and things did not pick up. On Sunday I called the Mother Baby Unit to confirm my suspicion that they were just Braxton Hicks contractions and that I was fine unless they got more frequent and that I didn’t need to be on bed rest yet. They agreed with me and told me as long as the contractions don’t pick up I was fine and I could go out and do my usual routine. We went out to lunch, and while out for that 15 minutes I had about 4 contractions that were a little uncomfortable but not painful. We went directly home, and as instructed I laid down on my left side and drank some water. The next hour I only had 3 then the next hour only 2 so they were going away. After that I didn’t have any for several hours. At 5 pm I started having one contraction every ten minutes and they were hurting. I decided that I wasn’t going to wait another hour to see if they continue, that I needed to go in. When I got there they did an ultrasound of the girls for their heartbeats and everything looked great, both girls were moving around like crazy and my contractions had slowed way down though they were still slightly hurting. Then the Doctor came in and to examine me and my world came crashing down around me. I was already dilated 4-5 centimeters and Emilyn’s amniotic sac was poking out. They could give me medication and that might stop or slow it down for awhile, but not nearly for long enough to help the babies survive. The age of the possibility of a baby surviving is 24 weeks, and I was three and a half weeks shy, which in a baby’s development is huge. They couldn’t medevac me off island to a place with a higher level of care with the Emilyn’s amniotic sac poking out because the pressure of takeoff could easily rupture it and then have me giving birth mid-air. My only hope was to change my position to take the pressure off of her sac and hope it went back inside, so they admitted me to the hospital, confined me to a bed and moved the bed so that my head was lower than my feet. Even with this my contractions continued and after awhile got more frequent and much stronger. It was official, I was in full blown labor, and my babies were too young to survive, I was losing my little girls and there was nothing I, the Doctors or Nurses could do about it. At 3:25 am our little wiggle worm Emilyn Elisabeth entered this world. I saw her tiny head as they carried her out to clean her up. A few minutes later they brought her back wrapped in a baby blanket with a hat on that was way too big for her little head. She was so tiny and fragile, but she was a fighter. She survived for just over an hour, when they checked for a heartbeat at 4:26 it was gone and she had become an angel in heaven. In that hour that we held her, she moved just a little and turned her head to the left, towards her Mommy and Daddy. Unfortunately in the hour she was with us my labor continued, and our sweet girl and kickboxing champion Hailey Grace entered this world at 4:29 am, shortly after her sister was gone. She was a fighter too and survived for almost two hours. In that two hours we also got to see her move, she tried to take just one breath while we were holding her wrapped in her blankets with her too big hat on, though I’m told they both had tried to breathe at least one breath while being cleaned up. Both girls weighed in at 13 ounces and were 10 7/8 inches long. The hospital let us hold our babies for as long as we needed to say hello, and goodbye. We were able to have them blessed by the hospital chaplain with just us and my nurses in attendance. In our few precious hours with our girls all we could do was hold them, love on them and cry. It seems so wrong that my babies are really gone, they were so healthy. When they were born they were perfectly healthy, they were just born too soon. We have no answer as to why this happened to us, all of my lab tests came back fine, there was no infection or anything. My body just decided that it was time to go into labor even though our little girls weren’t ready. Nothing I could have done differently would have changed anything, nothing could have prevented this because there was no reason for it, just that it was. Saying goodbye to my babies was the hardest thing I have ever done, it just seems so wrong. It was crushing to watch them wheel them both out in their little bassinet. We were able to see them again the next day, they brought them back in tiny caskets, again, so wrong. My babies shouldn’t be in a casket, they should either be still inside me or in a bassinet. Caskets should not have to be made that small. Later that day I was discharged. Walking out of the hospital with empty arms and an empty belly was so hard. All I left with was a memory box for each baby and a folder on grief. My babies were left behind. They were cremated together, they were together inside me for 5 months they needed to be together forever. We have brought them back to Oklahoma for their memorial. We are having it in January 2nd at 2 pm. They will be staying with us though for the time being, until we decide if we want to scatter their ashes, bury them or keep them with us permanently. We have set up a site on the March of Dimes for each girl, the money donated there will help to fund research to fight premature birth. Their sites are posted below. Our only request is that you keep us in your thoughts and prayers through this impossible time.

http://www.marchofdimes.com/prematurity/b_new.asp?band_id=57571

http://www.marchofdimes.com/prematurity/b_new.asp?band_id=57572

Our Family Picture, Stacy is holding Emilyn and Charles is holding Hailey


Our Little Emilyn Elisabeth on the left and our Sweet Hailey Grace on the right

20 Weeks!

Happy Thanksgiving!! Woohoo, I'm halfway through a "normal" pregnancy! Though I'm most likely not going to go full term with the twins. I had an appointment yesterday, when I was 20 weeks and 1 day pregnant and he measured my belly at 26 weeks. So I guess I'm measuring about 6 weeks ahead of most other peoples' pregnancies, should get interesting pretty soon, the babies are going to start running out of room! I've been feeling them kick around a ton and have even felt them kicking with my hand on my belly! Earlier tonight Charles was even able to feel one of the girls kicking since she kept kicking me in the same spot over and over, lol! Only about two and a half more weeks till I get medevac'd off island and one more appointment here!

20 Weeks!


Front View at 20 Weeks


Side View at 20 Weeks

19 Weeks

I had my long ultrasound yesterday that looked at all of the anatomy of both babies. I think it was one of the most uncomfortable things to happen yet! The room was kind of warm, and with my allergy problems that made it kind of hard to breathe, and I had to lay flat on my back with my legs flat too so after awhile of this I got kind of dizzy! I asked to sit up but he had me lay on my left side for a bit and then raised the foot of the bed up. After that he made me stay on my left side, but I was turning my top half to the right because that's where the monitor was! My hips are still hurting from that awkward position I was in! Even though I was uncomfortable it was amazing to see my little babies! They are so much bigger than the last time that I saw them! The babies are currently laying like in a bunk bed, with one on bottom and the one on top up under my ribs. He even had to scan between two of my ribs to get a good look at the head of baby B! We got to see the every little bit of both babies, including all four chambers of the heart, their faces (though we didn't get a really good picture), and a good look at what gender they are! Much to Charles' despair they are both girls! I can see him getting a shotgun in the near future to scare all the little boys away! We have pretty much settled on the names Emilyn Elisabeth and Hailey Grace, though if we find a second family name we like we may change Hailey's middle name. Both babies are weighing in at 11 ounces already, and measuring about 5 days ahead of what they should be at.

Twin B is a Girl!


Twin B Face


Twin A is a Girl!


Twin A Face


This week I have been feeling the babies move more than ever! Today especially they seem like they have been jumping all over. I can't wait until Charles can feel them moving around too! My Doctor turned in my paperwork for my medevac flight off island, so hopefully before too long it'll get approved for me to come back to Oklahoma instead of to Japan and I'll get my flight booked! Though I am being sent off on medevac, since I am not sick or in need of an escort they will just be buying me a commercial ticket back to the states. I can't wait to get back and see my family, especially my new little nephew Sawyer. Since the last post Sawyer was discharged from the hospital and is doing much better now at home with his mom and dad!

19 Weeks!


19 Weeks in my regular clothes!


Cute Pineapple Dresses I couldn't resist buying from the AOSC Gift Shop!

18 Weeks

Today was my last day at work! It was a great last day, mostly because it made me so glad I turned in my notice when I did and now I don't have to deal with all that stuff any more! They seem to think that we can do the job of two nurses almost every day, I think I was the only one that flat out refused to do that, some of the other nurses went ahead and just did it becasue they were told to, I refused to take report and threatened to call the nursing supervisor if it wasn't fixed.....and then they fixed it! While I won't miss all the politics of working at the hospital, I will miss some of my patients, especially the long term ones that I've had a chance to build a relationship with!

On the pregnancy front nothing is really going on. The Doctor is still working on my paperwork, and hopefully he'll have that turned in soon to medevac me off this island in December! If you know me, you know I've been harassing the medevac office every day they've been open this week to see if he's turned it in yet! So I thought I had felt the babies move a few weeks ago, but I'm pretty sure that was just gas now, lol! However, I think there have been a few times this week that I have definitely felt at least one of the babies move and it's crazy! In less than a week I should know if I am having boys, girls or one of each! My ultrasound is scheduled for next Wednesday, so it will be just in time for me to post in my weekly update, though I suspect I will be calling my parents and in-laws right after I find out! I also found out this week that laughing can really hurt when you're pregnant, especially if you're not in the proper position! I learned really quick last night what the wrong position was! I can't imagine how big and stretched out my belly is going to be in four months, it already feels stretched out and I know I'm not even that big yet! My innie belly button is well on its way to being an outie, it's just a matter of time before it pops out, lol.

18 Weeks


My newphew Sawyer got put in the hospital a couple of nights ago for bronchiolitis. He's doing better than when he was first admitted, they've decreased the amount of oxygen they're having to give him and is oxygen saturations are improving. His chest xray also came out clear, so hopefully he'll be out of the hospital and at home soon! I know my brother Josh and sister in law Lauren are worried sick, so keep them in your thoughts!
Sick Baby Sawyer

17 Weeks

Again, not a whole lot happening this week. I had another Doctor's appointment....fairly short, all he did was check the heart rates which were 140 and 150, and then ask if I had any questions. He is supposed to start working on my medevac paperwork this week, so hopefully it'll all go through soon. We got all of the nursery furniture set up, and bought one mattress tonight, we just have to wait for the BX to get another crib mattress like the one we have! Other than that, everything is pretty much the same!

17 Weeks!


Nursery Furniture

16 Weeks

Not much new and I'm tired so just going to post a pic!

16 Weeks

15 Weeks!

Wow, amazing how much can change in just one week! I have been feeling the babies doing cartwheels since last friday, it's amazing how much these tiny little things can move around!! I've hit the ten pound weight gain mark, I think it's the heaviest I've been in about five years but it's definitely worth it! I got a book on twin pregnancies and based on that book I've got some catching up to do with how much weight I gain! In one week I need to gain 6 pounds to catch up!! I don't think that's going to happen, but we'll see what happens. The book stresses the importance of weight gain, with most of it being gained in the first 28 weeks since you're not guaranteed those extra weeks at the end of the pregnancy. I already feel like I'm eating all the time, not sure how I can stuff much more in me! I finally gave up on my belly ring today, with everything tight around my belly I kept hitting the top part and it's getting red, so I took it out to prevent it from getting infected. I also finally got continental to agree to refund me fully for my tickets I had bought to go home at Christmas time. That was a huge relief, we thought they were going to just give me a travel certificate for 1900 dollars, to be used within one year of purchase, which would be totally useless to me, there's no way I can travel off of Guam with two babies for under that much!! Anyway, Charles got back to Guam safely after some plane ticket problems, and Molly and I are happy to have him back!

15 Weeks!

14 Weeks

I finally gave in and started to wear my maternity pants this week, they're a lot more comfortable but they keep sliding down, lol! I figure soon enough I'll have enough of a bump to keep them up! Other than that, nothing really new with the pregnancy this week! Charles left on Saturday for a conference in Las Vegas and is having a great time there. The night before he left the focus decided it didn't want to start, so we had it towed down to the Navy auto repair shop. They said it needs a new fuel pump and filter, which would take 4-6 weeks to get in because there isn't one on island! Oh yeah, and it would cost 250 just for the part! I said leave it, and I'll get my Dad to buy one at autozone and send it to me and it'll be here in a week! So it's currently in the mail and will hopefully be here next wednesday and the car fixed by thursday or friday!

14 Weeks!

13 Weeks!

I'm 13 weeks pregnant now and starting to feel a bit better. Now it seems like I can be hungry without feeling sick, though if I get too hungry (usually happens at work) it still seems like I feel sick. I had a great week this week, went and played Bunco with some good friends and had some yummy food there! We had typhoon Melor headed our way last week, but thankfully it went to the north of us and the worst that happened was the air show was cancelled, though that was because of the tropical depression ahead of Melor! They were able to reschedule it for a week later, which was yesterday and we got a great show from the thunderbirds! They had to hold off for about 40 minutes to wait for the clouds to clear off but it was still great seeing them again! I saw one guy jump about 4 feet when one of the planes came from behind and surprised everyone, lol.

The Air Force Thunderbirds

13 Weeks!

12 Weeks and Onto the 2nd Trimester!

Woohoo, made it through the first trimester and now I'm in the 2nd! Now if someone could tell my body that and I won't feel sick when I'm tired! At least now it's usually only around bedtime and not all day unless I worked the day before! Nothing really new this week, I went and bought some maternity pants so I'll have them on hand when I need them, right now my normal pants still fit mainly because they were a little big to begin with! We had a little excitement here on Guam today. They've been worried for days that a tropical storm was going to hit us, but when it got about 2 hours away it fizzled out and was nothing, we didn't even get more rain than usual! There is still another tropical storm right behind that one named Melor that is supposed to turn into a typhoon (same thing as a hurricane) and right now is estimated to go about 60 miles to the north of base Saturday night, hopefully it doesn't start turning south in the next couple of days! Though after the one today, our typhoon shutters are shut and our supply of food is good!

12 Weeks

11 Weeks!

Nothing much has changed in the past week or so. As you can tell I had another ultrasound this past Monday and got some great pictures from it! It was so cool getting to see the babies moving their tiny arms and legs already! My next appointment will be sometime in the beginning of November, and I think I'll maybe get another ultrasound at that point in time. I grew out of my first pair of pants, and of course it had to be my "nicer" pants that I wore to spouse functions so tomorrow I will be going out in search of new pants that will hopefully fit me for a decent amount of time! Tomorrow is the Air Force ball, and I'm lucky that one of my dresses still fits me so I didn't have to go buy a new one! Tomorrow I'm headed down to the NEX at big navy and I'm hoping they carry the crib set I want, if they are I'll probably order it. I learned quick on Guam that if they have it and you want it you better buy it now becasue on a week it'll be gone! Anyway, I can't believe that I am almost three months pregnant, it seems like the past two months have flown by!

11 Weeks

10 Week, 4 Day Ultrasound!

I had another ultrasound on Monday at 10 weeks 4 days pregnant. It was really cool getting to see the babies again! They've both grown a ton since my last appointment, they are now 4.18 and 4 cm from crown to rump. Both are doing well and I even got to see them moving around! Baby A took a little coaxing from Dr. Kuskowski pressing on my belly but it eventually woke up and started moving around.

Both Babies, Twin B looks like it is either waving or saluting, lol!

Baby A with the head on the left, 4.18 cmBaby B with the head on the right, 4.oo cm

Showing they're Dichorionic-Diamniotic Twins (Two Chorions and Two Amniotic Sacs)

10 Weeks

Woohoo, 1/4 of the way through my pregnancy and meeting my babies! I seem to be getting a bit more of my energy back now, I finally have a completely clean house now that it's coming back too! Still having a bit of morning sickness, but it usually happens at night and seems to stay away so long as I keep snacking. I'm also having some hip pain, but it seems to go away after I sit down for awhile so it's not too bad. I'm having tons of fun looking at all kinds of baby stuff! I've figured out that all of the baby furniture I'll need will fit in our tiny second bedroom, thank goodness!! It'll be wall to wall furniture, but it'll fit! We'll go and order it on Monday, so hopefully it'll be here before the babies are born and flown back here! We're also starting to think of baby names, nothing concrete yet though. We have a couple of middle names though. Anyway, need to finish getting ready for work tomorrow.

1o Weeks

9 Weeks

This isn't going to be all that long, I'm tired after a full day of work! I'm 9 weeks pregnant now, and not a whole lot has changed. I do notice I have a definite pooch to my stomach but I think only the people that see me on a regular basis would notice. I got my first maternity clothes in this week. I decided to order early online otherwise it might be too late! Most of my stuff will probably be ordered online, there's only one real maternity store here and it's kind of expensive! But I got several shirts and one pair of sweat pants that fit me pretty well. My next ultrasound is in a week and a half and I can't wait to see how big they've gotten! Anyway, here's my pic!

9 Weeks

8 Weeks

This past week was much better than the last week! I even had a few days where I felt pretty much normal! Bland food is still my main choice, though I have had a few days where I was able to eat a little different! We went to Joinus Teppanyaki down in Tumon for lunch this week and it was pretty good! It wasn't as good as Crazy Hibachi, which I'm still craving! I got the chicken and steak, they don't add much flavoring but the steak was pretty good when dipped in the finadene (soy sauce mixed with a few other things). The garlic fried rice was wonderful though! It was much better than what we've been getting at the chinese restaraunts as it wasn't covered in a ton of oil. I'm starting to get some of my energy back, though even going out for a little while still seems to tire me out for the rest of the day! I had my first "prenatal class" today, which in reality was mostly filling out paperwork. There was a ton, and a lot of it didn't pertain to me since they'll be sending me off island at 24 weeks until after the twins are born. We are hoping that I can be sent to Oklahoma instead of Japan so that I will be near family and have Charles sent out before they are born. From the sounds of it, there shouldn't be a problem but hopefully we can get it worked out.

8 Week Belly Picture

7 Weeks

Today I am 7 weeks along, and I can say that morning sickness has officially kicked in! No throwing up yet, just general feeling like i'm going to get sick. Eating a little something before I get out of bed has seemed to help somewhat, at least I don't feel sick right from the start! On the other hand, I'm finding that when I'm hungry I'm starving and need to eat something right away! I think Charles is going to go crazy with dinner and me wanting it at a specific time instead of our usual whenever we get around to it. It was really cool seeing the ultrasound a few days ago, this time the doctor was able to get the heartbeats for both of them so we got to hear them too! My next ultrasound is in three and a half weeks and I can't wait to see how much they've grown in the four weeks between ultrasounds!!

7 Week Belly Picture: Babies or rice krispie treats?

On another note, my brother Josh and his wife Lauren welcomed their son Sawyer Edward Alan Taylor into this world a couple of days ago. He's so cute and I can't wait to meet him in December! Here's a couple of pics.

Sawyer and Daddy

Sawyer and Mommy

Ultrasound Pics!

Twins!

Twin A

Twin B

OMG.....it's Twins!!!

I'm 6 weeks pregnant now, and have known that I'm pregnant for two weeks now. Today started out rough with a trip to the ER for cramping among other things. I would have gone to my regular ob/gyn but they didn't have any open appointments so they directed me to the ER. They did a bunch of bloodwork and a few other tests, and an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that my pregnancy was going well, and that we're going to be having twins!!! I'm still in shock at the moment, but it will eventually set in. I follow up with my regular ob/gyn on Monday and I'm sure I'll get a lot more information at that time along with another ultrasound. Maybe this time I can get him to print off one or two pictures for me!

Finally a Positive!

4 Weeks

5 Weeks

6 Weeks, the day after we found out it was twins